The deepest part of me.

I am so full of happiness and joy today it’s overwhelming.

Not because of anything special. But because I saved my own life.

No one, not even my nearest and dearest know that between 12-8 months ago I was drowned under overwhelming, pummeling waves of depression and anxiety. I hated it, I hated myself, I hated life and I saw no way out. I don’t bring this up lightly but there were days where I thought, it’s never going to get better than this. I had no friends, no ambition, I didn’t value myself or believe I was worth anything.

I can’t tell you what changed but somewhere in the last 12 months I decided that feeling that way wasn’t good enough anymore. I’m leaning how to work through my crippling social anxiety that made me believe I wasn’t worthy of having any friends. I began to tune into life, be grateful for the smallest things. Focus on fostering my relationship with myself and working on what I truly desire in life, even if it meant going “against the norm”. I can’t tell you how empowering it has been. For the last year I have prayed and manifested and journalled to bring strong, meaningful connections into my life and I’m starting to see it materialize now. My anxiety is slipping away. I value myself so so so much. I’m so happy today that I keep getting waves of gratitude wash over me because I’ve finally realized that you can create, mould, edit, change life into whatever the hell you want. And that is so incredibly powerful.

I’m so happy I never gave up in those moments when I considered it.

Life is beautiful 🌈🌈🌈🌈

If you want a more in depth video or blog post on this, please let me know. I’d love to do one. I’ve learned so much ❤️🤙🏼

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