Gratitude is one of the hardest concepts I’ve had to embrace in my entire life. In a sense I have every right and every reason to be grateful, of which I’ve listed over and over in notebooks to study upon and remind myself of, as every perennially positive life coach recommends.
However what these recommendations don’t realize is the sheer capacity of our own minds to self sabotage us when everything should be feeling perfect. The pure fact that air is being drawn in and pushed out of my vibrant humanly being without interruption or pain should be reason enough for me to be the happiest person alive, for I am just that – ALIVE.
But the mind is a powerful thing and tendrils of darkness will creep up uninterrupted if you let it – and over and over again – I have. Before you know it the tendrils become hard and fast roots to weeds of dark thoughts that anchor to every corner and crevice of your brain with one intention – sabotage. I’ve found this to be especially true when I’m in a situation that I don’t want to be in or can’t wait to be over. Like right now.
But this time is different.
Somehow after trial and error and trial and win, trial and error and round and round on that nauseating merry go round game called mentality – something has changed a little. I’m able to catch myself before the darkness takes hold. I call myself out. I don’t take no for an answer. I breathe.
I’ve found living waiting for the next thing to happen or waiting for something to be over gives you a small false hope until that thing arrives or is over, and then your mind, on automation, will move that much further into the future to find something else to fixate on. Something else to “want” to be over. Perennial dissatisfaction every day that you are willing to let this occur.
The answer isn’t easy to hear and it’s this – cancel future plans. Surrender. Live in this second. Look outside and look up – really look. Take notice of every curve and crevice of this earth and realize that everything you are looking at is YOU. explore it and appreciate it.
Most of all realize that you have the power to change any life situation you are in if it no longer serves you, and do so without fear. Let all those doubts and what if’s melt away into nothing as you realise that everything
working out in the end. It’s inevitable. Shape your life and open the floodgates for gratitude as you knowingly laugh and realize for once in your life that you are the author, the illustrator, the shaper and the master of your own life to do with it what you will. It is your destiny.